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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
Sometimes I think Iām too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
Iām holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....