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Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I don’t have to say “Netflix and avoiding responsibilities"
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!