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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
"I`m single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I`m still single, cuz I say sh!t like that?
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.