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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I`m OK, but I feel like I`ve dyed a little inside.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but donβt actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
Elevator music bothers me on so many levels