Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
If you drink enough, your brain starts photo-shopping people.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but Iām still looking.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.