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is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house ... It was delicious.
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*