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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
The first sign of laziness:
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.