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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says "We need to talk".
Word for the day is asstard
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...