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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.