Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they`re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.