Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, `Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car`
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.
Sometimes.. late at night... I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I am a meatball.
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!