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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.