Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
As a community service, I send random inmates letters how my life is going to cheer them up.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.