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You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.