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Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
“Nevermind.” Translation... You should’ve listened the first time.
I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.