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It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to stop being so impatient.
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
Right now a FedEx driver is dropkicking your Christmas gift onto someone’s front porch.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..