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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
I hate how homeless people shake their coin cups at me. I get it. No need to gloat that they have more money than me.
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Me: My bed is so warm and cosy. I never want to leave. Bladder: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.