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I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...