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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
Sorry I said "Better you than me" when you showed me your baby.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
I don`t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I`d be irresponsible too.
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.