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Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
Is it just me, or does this gravy I made taste like scotch? Anyway, best Thanksgiving EVER!
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It`s odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?