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Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. Iām starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty