Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up nicely but without the buzz.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
Me on New Years Eve: “I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.”
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?