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Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
My doctor told me to eat more bacon cheeseburgers. Well, what he technically said was to eat "less pizza", but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.