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Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn`t have done this to me."
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.