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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.