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I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
I need a new bad decision.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative