Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Did you know that one minute of kissing burns 26 calories? No wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happened to me, only with beer.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.