Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.