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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Why don`t the post office get the Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday? Work smarter not harder people.
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.