Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
If you scream in a library, people just look at you funny. If you scream on an airplane, everyone joins in.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?