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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
I put the hot in psychotic.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.