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There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.