Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of Alcohol
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.