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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
I ordered a new GPS unit, but it got lost in the mail.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.