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When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
I`m tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. Does anyone have any new mistakes I can borrow?