Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is youโre wrong & Raphael isnโt the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
You notice how no faith-healers have stepped forward to help out with the ebola crisis in Africa......
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Donโt mix it up this year!
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
The number one key to a successful marriage is alcoholism.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it breathe. 2) If it does not look like it`s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
Itโs actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most
Donโt get me wrong. I totally hear what youโre sayingโฆI just donโt care.
Donโt let anyone push you around. Unless itโs in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isnโt mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? Youโre on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.