Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.