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I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Today I caught myself smiling ... I was thinking of you ... Don´t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?