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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."