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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
My wife complains about everything I do. It`s like she doesn`t know there are "Sexy singles in my area" that want to meet with me.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.