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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
āI saw that.ā -Karma
Born free. Now, Iām expensive.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..