Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
Don`t come to my door wanting to talk about the Lord. I don`t come to your door wanting to talk about wine and vibrators, do I?
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, Iām part of the other 2%
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"