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My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
Chip clips are for quitters.
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why