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Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
The amount of time my smartphone spends plugged in charging, you might as well want to call it a Land-line
Today I sent out a text saying, “Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?” 12 people called me…I need smarter friends.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.