Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
There`s no WE in pizza.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.