Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
You think your life is bad? I’ve got that “Five dollar foot long” song stuck in my head
This beer tastes like I’m going to text you later.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
The doctor said I should be drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor” now.
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?