Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
I’m going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep.
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?