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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.