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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.