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Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
PRO TIP: If you walk around the mall hitting kids in the face with the shopping bags, your wife won`t make you carry them.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.