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Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.