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I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.