Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
Pro tip - You can blame anything on autocorrect.
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.