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I just saw a giant spider in my room so I sprayed it with hairspray. It`s not dead, but its hair looks fabulous.
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
Do you know who invented the Knock Knock joke? I don`t know either, but whoever did should get a no bell prize.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapeños, what you do today can burn your a$$ tomorrow
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
Things I`m confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.