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I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused