Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.